does it really matter (poprox03) wrote,
does it really matter

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how can some things be going so right and some just go so wrong, which leaves you not sure how to feel. i want to be happy but there are things keeping me from that, and i could be sad but there is a little good. so now i am stuck in the middle. just confused, and happy at some moments, and in total despare at others. i blame it on being a girl. sometimes i think it would be so easy to just not feel anything. sometimes the bad hurts so much i could give up the good just so i would never have to feel that bad again. and sometimes the good makes me able to deal with the bad. thank goodness for journals, where else would i vent? or at least try to put a little bit of description to the emotions that are swirling through me and making everything a bit of a blur.

for those of you who don't know...i am officaly out of my moms house. i have freedom. i have a life, its nice.

and also, my heart has been hurt just a little. i wouldn't say broken, just maybe a little crushed. we hadnt gotten in far enough for my heart to be broken, though i wanted to get that far. as one of my friends said who is totally there for me..maybe its just a break

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